Dan Mayer's Blog

Holidays are always an interesting time for me. I get away from my computer and work for awhile. I spend a bunch of time with family and friends. I usually get to spend a bunch of time with Erin, which is a rare pleasure because of long distance. I tend to always think a bit about priorities in life. My goals, my current place, my current path, my future... Sometimes it really makes me wonder if I have had my priorities right, spending so much time doing long distance and not just finding a way to be together now. Spending so much time isolated away working on problems and a startup, trying to slowly create something good and useful in the world. In the end who knows if that is the point of life at all, being able to crunch numbers faster on a computer to do interesting things might just not really matter that much. When spending time with family and friends and building lasting relationships and working on little things you can see in people's lives instantly you have to wonder if that is the kind of work that matters more. Then again nearly every family I have spent thanksgiving with, works at a career that they have put a great deal of their life into... Just some of my holiday thoughts, I am sure it is really a balance between big ideas and goals and more immediate and bonding goals.

I spent this thanksgiving with Erin's family at their house for a couple of days, we had a great time. I got to play Guitar Hero World Tour, with Erin's younger brother and sister (and Erin is really starting to enjoy rocking out on the drums). We enjoyed cards, basketball, movies, and discussion with the rest of the family. Their was always amazing food around, with a delicious free range turkey that even a quasi veggie like me can enjoy. Thanks to Erin and her family for making this a special holiday.

Spending all this time with her family, made me think of my own. I haven't actually got to share a thanksgiving with my family for a long time. I haven't really had time to return home for thanksgiving for a number of years. I have found friends to share the holiday with over the years and it has always been great, and I really appreciate having friends that can so kindly adopt me in for thanksgiving or just share the holiday with me as they are away from their family as well.

I want to give a big thanksgiving thanks you to everyone I have shared thanksgiving with in the last few years:

• Dom, Nicole and Dom's family the first two years I couldn't make it back home
• Jesse and Steve in Vail where we made all the food from scratch for the first time
• Ben, Kate, Kate's little sis, and Jesse in Denver where Jesse prepared an amazing meal and Ben and I experimented with meat pies
• Erin's family who has been nice enough to really take me in as one of their own for a variety of family occasions.

Thinking about families and the importance of those we love around us, makes me ponder on how to best share these holidays with my family in the future. I would love to be able to get together with my family again and enjoy thanksgiving with them. My brother had a family thanksgiving in Portland, and was able to get some our cousins and an aunt together for the holidays. Now not only is my family spread between Portland and Springfield, I really need to start thinking about not just my family. Erin and I haven't really been dividing up holidays yet because we barely have enough time to see each other let alone think about planning trips around others schedules for holidays. It seems most people in relationships this long start alternating holidays with one or the other's family. Thanksgiving here, and Xmas there. For now we always split up on the big one in my family, Xmas. Last year Erin came down quickly after Xmas and we celebrated my birthday along with new years with most of my family in Springfield (Shawn doesn't love us so he didn't come to Springfield... hehe) This year Erin won't be making it to Springfield and I will be quickly heading back after Xmas to spend my birthday and new years with her. I guess I am just starting to think that I want to actually be able to be together and share more of the holidays, not skipping out and away for Xmas, and finding something that works for both of us. I don't think we will be changing anything this year as our lives our pretty busy, but it is something I know we will need to start thinking about for the future.

I also know many of my friends that celebrated their first thanksgiving alone with just their newer family either newlyweds or with a child having their first thanksgiving. At some point I guess you don't divy up and travel between each others families, but you are truly just your own family.

I had an amazing thanksgiving, and a great visit with Erin this last week. It was another simple reminder that she is worth it. Ever stupid day of long distance is worth it, because spending a few days with her is about the best part of my life.